A year in the life of a blond...

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too
tight.

February - Ordered new drapes for her computer because it had
windows.


March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
because the box said "2-4 years."


April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went
out.


May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water wouldn't fit
into the little packet.


June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake
with a slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition,
complained to the judges that the other
swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into
their locked car using a coat hanger
because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was, she
answered "C".

October - Hates M &Ms because they are so hard to peel. Threw away
half because they were misprinted W&W.

November - Baked a turkey for four days because the instructions
said one hour per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone
button.