To know or not to know

The results from the poll of 33 voters:

42% choose to find out the gender before birth, but keep the name a secret

30% say to leave it all a surprise until birth

21% reveal gender and name before birth

6%   wait to find out the gender, but reveal boy/girl name choices

As for us, we found out the gender of the girls, but kept our very difficultly decided upon name choices to ourselves until the birth. I loved the reveal of announcing the name at birth. 100% of the time, we heard positive whoops of glee instead of, "Why did you choose that name?" As a people pleaser, I can't handle the criticism. Friends and family were so thrilled with the baby's birth, they didn't take the time to question the name.

This is our choice, but everyone obviously has their own opinion. And I loved reading them! We hope to have an ultrasound at 20 weeks and find out the gender of our baby at that time. You can look forward to some "baby name polls" in the near future as we begin our deliberation.

When we hear about a healthy baby’s impending birth, there are two things all the loved ones want to know: gender and name. There are several ways that parents choose to reveal these details, some leave everyone clueless and others let us talk and discuss months before the baby arrives.

The old fashioned way is to, of course, let nature take its course and find out the gender at birth instead of at a 20 week ultrasound. Even though they don’t know the gender, there are two option here; they could keep the boy/girl name options to themselves or they could share the names that they will give a boy or a girl. The first option will undoubtedly leave your friends and family at the height of anticipation, although they’ll probably be really annoyed too. At least knowing the boy name or the girl name settles some of the aggravation.

Another way couples choose to reveal the details is to give a teaser by sharing the gender, but not the name. If they are vacillating over the name right to the end of the pregnancy, it is the only option. Not sharing the name can be a personal preference as well, since sharing the name choice will open up inevitable commentary and opinions from well meaning friends and family. Once a baby is born, it seems like no one has the nerve to question the sweet baby’s name (at least the parent’s face).

Many people share the baby’s name after finding out the gender of their baby. This takes the suspense away and all the relatives and friends feel a great relief knowing that all the available details are out in the open. Just think of the monogramming that can be done ahead of time! This way of full revelation does open you up to criticism of the name choice though and makes it harder to change your mind.

I have friends and family who have done all of the above options for their babies. I think the “full revelation” method is the easiest to handle for outsiders, with “no details” revealed being the most frustrating. How can I sew a quilt or put together a scrapbook without at least knowing the gender? It’s all about me, you see. Everybody has an opinion, which is why I am asking yours. The survey on the right is to reflect what you did with your child’s birth or what you would do if you were to have a child, not what you prefer with your friend’s and family member’s babies. The answers would be different for me.

You never know, this poll could change my opinion, or harder yet, my husband’s. Probably not, but there is no harm in sharing.