I recently conducted a poll on the blog regarding the appropriate age to introduce Barbies to children. I was interested in the findings. The majority of my readers believe that a child should play with Barbies when she shows interest. (For this conversation, I will continue to use the "she" pronoun since I am talking specifically about my girls, and if your "he" is playing with Barbies, well, I don't know how to help you there). There were some who answered the poll who think Barbies should not be introduced, land sakes, never!
I grew up playing with Barbies. My sister and I had the ultimate Barbie houses that my dad built for us. They were 2 story, painted white, with 2 bedrooms upstairs and a great room down stairs, compete with different carpet and linoleum choices in each room. I remember hours and hours of fun playing with Barbies; the fun clothes, accessories, and the really fun furniture that my Grandpa Harv made for us. Growing up, even into mommy-hood, I assumed that all little girls played with Barbies and of course, my little girls would play with them too. Then, slowly I realized there is quite a debate about the dolls. Barbie comes with some baggage that isn't so cute, pink, and desirable.
The source of the controversy is Barbie's anatomically correct depiction of the female body -- however unrealistic it may be. Barbie is not a baby, like children often innocently play with. Barbie is a working woman of the world who wears skimpy, provocative clothing, that cling tightly to her double D plastic chest. She runs around with a hunk, named Ken, and together they teach little girls that to have value you must be tall, skinny, tanned, wear sexy clothes, have a very high paying job, and love pink. She has a powerful influence, starting at a very young age, on how a girl perceives her own body and what beauty is.
When I was playing with Barbies, 20 years ago, none of the above mentioned concerns entered my brain. I was sheltered in a happy, loving home. My Barbies wore pretty clothes, that either my mom or grammy made for them, or I fashioned together with hot glue and fray-check (I have always had excessive creative energy). My Barbies were innocent like me and my sister and we played happily with them in a grown-up world, not too different than the grown-up lives we observed. Well, Barbie was always really rich. She went on vacation in her pink convertible a lot.
Recently, while preparing Emma's new bedroom, we came across the big tote full of my old Barbie paraphernalia. When Emma saw all the pink miniature furniture and doll clothes, she said, "Oooh, I want to see." Keep in mind I was painting and moving and organizing with 2 little ones underfoot. I realized that opening the box was also starting the influence of Barbie. I had no convictions, just all the data, rumors, concerns, and worries running around in my head. I didn't have time to sort it all out, so I left Emma to explore the Barbies. It has been since then that I realized that I needed to make sure of my stand on what Barbie is and what she teaches with her perfect, tanned body.
It has been a few months since Emma discovered Barbies and she plays with them a few times a week. She enjoys them, but likes books and playing outside more. I am watchful of her play and like to observe the attitudes and thoughts that come out as she mimics the adult lives she sees. The Barbies, named Katie and Eesa, carry out activities like going to bed, waking at 7 am, getting dressed, making their beds, going potty, watching movies, making cookies in the deluxe kitchen, holding Skipper (she is often sick and needs comforting), driving to the store to buy milk, getting gas (that girl really goes through gas -- you would think she knew nothing of the rising costs!), killing flies with the tennis racket, shooting birds with binoculars, combing their hair, going to Sunday school.... So far, her play is so innocent. Is a time coming where Barbie will teach my daughter things I will regret?
Girls especially are bombarded with influences telling her that she needs to be this/that/perfect, while I want to teach my girls what the Bible says. The Bible teaches us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and that our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). The last thing I want to do it expose my daughter to an unrealistic icon that will give her a negative body image. People Magazine did a body image survey of 1,000 women, aged 18-55. Only 10% said they were completely satisfied with their bodies. And 80% said images of women on TV and in the movies made them feel insecure. How insecure? So insecure that 93% have tried to lose weight, 34% have had or would have cosmetic surgery, and 34% said they would be willing to try a diet "even if it posed at least a slight health risk"! This survey didn't address the causes of why woman have such a negative attitude about what God gave them. I've come to my own conclusion about Barbies. Let me reiterate that this is just my opinion. You should do what you think is right in your family. In the end, my daughters are my responsibility and God gave me and my husband the awesome privilege to raise our girls in the way they should go so that someday, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
There are many influences in a child's emotional and phycological development, namely the home life, friends, and media.
1. The home life includes everything my daughters are taught in our home, verbal or non verbal by me and my husband and from siblings. In regard to self-image, my daughters observe my attitude toward my body, heathy or unhealthy eating habits, and my excersize routine.
2. Friends are another huge influence. While I have control about what is taught in my home, I have less control over what friends may teach my children. Other kids have a whole other set of influences that are effecting who they become -- whether good or bad.
3. Media includes everything my children see and hear from public sources. I include toys in the media mix because they are marketed by an outside source with an agenda that my children absorb. From the silly, "meaningless" cartoons kids see, to the television programs they see me glued to, the children are learning. As they get older, internet and magazines will be important as well.
Everything that my child sees and hears will effect her. She will form an opinion on a subject with a child-like perspective. Barbie's ready-made body image is just one of the many influences and I think it is a small one. My goal is to make Emma's home (and Mandy's too, but for now she is just trying to swallow Barbie shoes) a place of safety and security, to teach her about God's image of her. I do this by talking to her about her body. I tell her she is beautiful, valued and that God made her special. Her father also has a dynamic role on how she will come to view her body image. Both our girls hear compliments from their daddy and also hear daddy complimenting mommy (that man does go on and on about the girls in his life :). We also limit the exposure our children get to outside media, even friends. The girls' biggest influence at this time is from our home. And for that reason, I see no problem letting Emma play with a doll that has anatomically correct body parts. Nothing in her life tells her that Barbie's body is perfect or that boys only like Barbie bodies. Her innocence tells her that Barbie is just like mommy, as she points to the not-little-girl bust and says, "Like mommy's." Thanks, darling. I'll take that comparison after breast-feeding 2 children and not tell you any different.
If the day comes when she shows sign of not measuring up to the Barbie-doll image, I think other influences in her life should be looked at as well, beside just Barbie. What is she hearing from friends? What pressures does she feel to be perfect? What does she think is important about being a woman? Does she know that God made her special? These are the things I think are crucial as a girl develops. This post has gone on and on. If you made it through to the end, I would be interested in your comments.
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